Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hello, Old Friend... promised and at the suggestion of my dear friend, Becky, I decided to come back to my blog. It's been over a year since I left it last and alot has changed in my life. I have continued on my "brave" journey and found that in taking risks, some pay off and some don't.

In my personal life, the risk has paid off in spades. I finally let go of my past with the man I wrote previous blogs about. It takes me a long time to get over things, even if they were never healthy to begin with, but once I got over my Ex, life became amazing again. It was like taking a breath of fresh air and hitting the reset button. I am also hitting the reset button on this blog as well. I will be writing about my life after the dark cloud lifted. Here it goes:

Last March, even though I was going through so much pain still, I reconnected with an old co-worker from my Barnes & Noble days. His name is Darren. I was invited to his going-away party as he was moving to Gettysburg, PA. to start a career as a paranormal investigator and historical artist. I was feeling lonely, tired and in need of a change of scenery, so I thought "Why not??" and went to the party by myself. I noticed Darren saved a seat for me right by him and I was relieved when he greeted me with a huge hug. It was so nice to see alot of my old coworkers and it took me back to a time when I was happy, before the dark days with my Ex. We all ate dinner and shortly after, everyone went their seperate ways. Even though I knew he was leaving and I was in no position to start anything up with him, I did feel a little spark and didn't want the evening to end. So, I asked him to hang out with me after the party. We ended up staying up until the wee hours of the morning together and by the end of the night, I think we both knew we wanted to be more than friends.

We spent everyday together until he left for Gettysburg. I was enjoying his company, but I knew I wasn't ready for anything serious, so I was OK with him going. I knew I could go visit and He would be coming home every once in awhile to visit family. We said our goodbyes and he was off to the battlefields of Gettysburg. This could turn into a long story, so I will shorten it by saying that after only a few days, He came back! The job he took wasn't at all what He thought it would be and He called me almost every day he was there. It was scary and intense, but we were falling for each other. Basically, We have been inseperable since then. I still needed time to ease into a new relationship (we even took a break for a couple months), but he was so patient and amazing. He gave me all the room I needed to feel like I could trust another man in my life. The last one did such a number on my trust, that it took a really long time to get there. But, he never faltered. He was a friend first and foremost. We spent the summer together, exploring and sharing common interests. By fall, I had fallen. My Aunt suddenly passed away in October of last year and Darren was there to help me through it (as usual). I had to go to Wisconsin for her funeral and it was then that He told me he loved me. We decided it was time to officially become a couple. We have never looked back. We became engaged in June of this year. I have never been so sure of anything in all my life. He is the One!!

It's so awesome when you meet the ONE. I had been misled by my own judgement in the past and would have sworn up and down that the last guy I was with was the ONE when I was with him. However, the difference is that I don't have that little voice in the back of my head whispering "No, He isn't. He doesn't love you. Run while you can!!" Darren is the most caring, considerate, patient, respectful, loving man I have ever met. I still can't believe he chose me! I don't have one doubt about our future together. Darren puts everything out on the table. There is nothing fake or deceiving about him. He doesn't have a shady or irresponsible past. He doesn't make excuses for his life. He is an honorable man and I feel so blessed to have him by my side. I finally have a partner in life!!

Anyway, There is alot to catch up on with this blog. I will end it here for tonight. I am learning and growing in love. I am trying everyday to get things right in this relationship and it never feels like work. We have a mutual friendship and respect for one another that I've never encountered before. He is truly my very best friend and I am soo excited to marry him next October...on the exact day we told each other I love you. How's that for romance?? :)