Just when life seems to be smoothing out and the path starts to get a little less bumpy, something always comes along to remind Me that life will NEVER be smooth and I can never get too comfortable with anything...ever.
So, last week I was hauled into my bosses office after He had been away for a week on a very important business trip in L.A. I was hoping that everything went well and I would FINALLY be able to be put on Full time status and start making some decent money so My fiance and I could move to a place before our wedding. When He called me in, I was thinking "Oh shit, here We go..this is either really fabulous news or really really bad news." Since good news seems to come far less often than bad, my money was on what actually happened. He sat me down and started to tell me that He was having to scale back hours and He was running out of ideas on how to keep the business going and that people just aren't buying production music like they used to. Then He said the words I was dreading..."I'm going to have to let you go." After that, I heard nothing except the thoughts and panic in my head. I have NEVER been laid off, fired, let go...whatever you want to call it. Of course, it had to happen at a time when I REALLY need to keep a job. I am getting married in 4 months and planning on moving in two. So, to have NO income during this time is like torture and panic all rolled into one.
In the past, when things like this would happen, I would go right to my very dark place. Depression, pity party, the works! But, for some reason, this time I got it together much more quickly and decided to take a different approach. I have so many blessings in my life right now. My relationship with Darren is amazing and beautiful. I wouldn't really care if we got married in a mud puddle as long as it happened and we belonged to each other forever. So, I am not overly worried about how our wedding will turn out. Plus, My family and His family have been so supportive and financially helpful, that we are actually ahead of the game in so many ways. I know our wedding will be unforgettable. Also, I have been able to live with my Father for the last couple months to get on my feet, so I am not really losing anything by not working a this moment. I have been praying to God, putting in resume after resume and counting my blessings instead of losing my will to fight. I am gathering all the positive energy I can find and trying very hard to change my destiny.
In only a couple days time, I have already seen some results from this new attitude. I already have two job interviews lined up this week and two amazing rental possibilities for homes Darren and I can move into if and when I get some money coming in. Everything is poised and ready to fall into place if I can just get a new job as soon as possible. Its both nail-biting and exciting at the same time! I feel a bit helpless at the moment because I can't really control the outcome. All I can do is be the best me I can be in the interviews and hope for some salvation. We will see what happens next...