What an awesome few days this has been!! It’s amazing how your heart can go from smashed into a million pieces to mended and full in just a short period of time. I have no idea what to think and it’s too soon to really elaborate. But, all I can say is life can throw you some curveballs that you never saw coming! Sometimes they lift you off your feet and sometimes they knock you on your ass. My feet are definitely off the ground right now.
Life is all about taking chances, It takes a lot of bravery to fall in love when you’ve been hurt by it in the past. It takes bravery to leave home when you aren’t sure about the future. Change is scary, but moving forward is the only way to know what awaits you. I don’t want to be scared and stuck anymore. I want to take a chance and if I fail miserably, at least I tried. I can’t have the regret of never knowing looming over my head.
Right now, I am feeling a tad selfish. It’s been too long since I’ve been able to focus on me. I am a giver by nature, but I tend to give myself completely away in relationships. Now, that I am on my own, I am ready to just give to me and find my own friendship again. Although, I am on the threshold of a new beginning with someone I am growing to care for deeply, I am glad our circumstances are giving me time to discover who I am again. I feel it won’t take me long, because I am not with someone who will drain me and never give back in return. I can just be me and there’s no pressure to be anyone other than that. It feels so good!
There is an energy to my life again that I thought would never come or would take years. I have said many prayers in the last few months and I think someone finally heard me. I catch myself dreaming, hoping and dare I say, open to love again. Days don’t feel sad and empty anymore. Music is in my ears, a kiss is on my lips and a hopeful future is on the horizon.