Sunday, March 7, 2010
Is it ever really goodbye?
“Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach
I like this quote a lot. And for many people in my life it has rung true. There are times when I, for one reason or another, have to step away from a situation that I feel is no longer healthy for me to be in. I guess it's that ounce of self-preservation and self-love that I hold onto that makes me say goodbye. But, over time, when I've had a moment to reflect and remember what matters to me, I make the decision to try again. I do believe that time can heal wounds that feel raw and open in the moment. When things just reach their boiling point and you can't take anymore, you have to relieve the pressure. Walking away is the quickest (but, not always the smartest) way to do that. When you're in that moment, you don't think about all the good things you are giving up too.
When you know it's wrong, you just know. When there is NO hope for the situation and it's pointless to keep hammering away at it, you eventually see that. But, when something just needs space and time to get better, it becomes something you just can't totally forget about. There seems to be more questions than answers and eventually, you want to go back and explore it again. I have said goodbye to friends over the years when there has been too many misunderstandings and disregard. It just gets frustrating to stay in contact with them. People change and sometimes you grow apart. But, what I've found in my life is that if they are people who came into your life for a true purpose, they find you again. I have been really torn up about losing people in my life (so much that I have serious 'goodbye" issues), that's why I can never accept that they're truly gone for good.
I take comfort in the fact that, even though I have "lost" people in my life, NONE of them have stayed away forever. NOT ONE!! People who I haven't spoken to in years come back. Not in the same way I knew them before, but they're around and I can still talk to them if I want. Grade school friends, old crushes, people who really hurt me...I still have that chance to start over with them. So, unless their dead, I am learning that no one ever really goes away forever if you still have the desire to know them. The key is to not waste time on toxic people and spend more time on valuable relationships.