Sunday, May 23, 2010

"My Angels, My Devils....Thorn in My Pride" -Black Crowes

Last week was a tough one, but I am going into this week with a renewed purpose. It's time to get myself together and focus on what needs to be done in the next few weeks. I am still looking for an apartment. So far, I am coming up empty. But, I remain hopeful that I will find something before I am homeless..let's hope! I am trying to get motivated to start throwing things out and packing stuff up. I am enjoying the free cable, central air, washer and dryer and SPACE while I still have it. It's going to be weird to leave this place. But, maybe it's for the best. I can't live here with the memories any longer if I am ever going to move on with a new life. It's going to be interesting to see what memories I keep with me and what will just fade away after I am not living in the rooms where the memories were created. I am going to try to keep all the happy times preserved, but forget the rest.

I am excited for this week because I hope to catch up with an old friend from the good ol' band days and have an extra day off work (LOVE  those)!! I just need to let off some steam and this week is shaping up to be when I will get to do that. I figure I deserve a week of reckless abandon before the hard work begins.

Today was such a hot, beautiful day. It makes me think of those hot summer nights, sitting outside, watching the stars or the street traffic and dreaming of a better life...or just relaxing with someone you really dig. I love those times and I am going to make it a priority to have more nights like that. I realize that it's been a long time since I allowed myself to just BE. No stress, no worries, no control over the uncontrollable. Just in the moment and loving life. I think I will be a lot less uptight when I begin to think like I did when I was a kid a little bit more. I think I will go take a shower now and then crank up some Black Crowes. Viva La Summer!!

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