Monday, May 3, 2010

My list of how I can Chill (the fuck) Out...

Move out of the Townhouse (too many memories)

Find an apartment in a location I can be at peace with

Throw away anything and everything cluttering up my life

Eat healthier...Fast Food is now the devil!!

Go for more walks and get regular excercise.

Have more sex (which goes hand in hand with excercise) :)

Drink more water.

Stop being such a damn perfectionist

Find joy in flaws and letting loose

Come to terms with the fact that I can't always get my way

Take care of ME, first and foremost

Continue to surround myself with people who are responsible for their own lives

Listen to more music

Continue to enjoy my favorite hobbies (ghost hunting, painting, home improvement)

Get rid of my piece of crap car (it's too damn expensive and CURSED)

Go to my Dr's appts and make sure I am staying up on my health problems.

Oh and...Party like a ROCK STAR!!

Why does this list (with a couple exceptions) sound like it's for an old person? I hate that I have to take care of everything in my life!! I want a vacation from bills, house work, my shitty job and my health issues!! I am tired of allergies that have caused a rash and horrible itching all over my body, asthma and anxiety. I have back problems and glucose issues. But, luckily I have been going to the doctor to get it fixed. Slowly, I have been feeling a lot better physcially. Mentally, I just need to check out for awhile!! I over think EVERYTHING. Maybe if I became a drunk or a drug addict I could just numb out, but I'm too chicken to lose that much control. I have serious control issues. At least I realize this and am trying to just let shit go..without the drugs or alcohol. :)

I am working hard on being the ME I want to be instead of the ME stuck in shitty circumstances. Some things you can't change my job (at least it pays the bills) or my physical problems. But, I can change my mind right now. So, Goodbye stressed out, unhappy Katy. I am ready for a little reckless abandon! :)

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