Monday, July 12, 2010

Nothing Worthwhile is EVER Easy...

I can't remember where I heard that quote, but it has always stuck with me. I try to remind myself of that whenever I feel like giving up on something that starts getting really difficult and challenging. When I'm feeling weak, I have a hard time remembering these words. But, I know they're true. I am really trying to stick to what I know is important in my life right now...Eating healthy, excercise, getting my home organized and comfortable, having some fun. I find myself letting go of the past and as much as I know it's a good thing...I still have moments of sadness. I keep telling myself that I can't hang on forever and that I deserve to be happy. I allowed it to be taken away for so long and I lost myself along the way. Trying to figure out who I am now has been really hard. But, I know it's worthwhile. I am trying to dig myself out of years of negative shit coming at me from all directions. I allowed it to stress me out, make me angry and diminish my spirit.

Already, I have noticed a change (and others have to) in my mood since I've moved back to my hometown. I was nervous about coming back because I had been away for (most of) 12 years and I had wanted so badly to leave in the first place. But, it's been really great! My family and I have gotten a lot closer, I live in a nice, quiet neighborhood and people are 10 times more polite and friendly! It just helps to be surrounded by a laid back atmosphere rather than the chaotic, negative, noisy cluster fuck that used to be in SB. I can feel the fog lifting.

Right now, I am focusing on getting my home like I want it. I finally got most of my furniture this weekend. New dining room set, couch and large bookshelf. I am loving how my living room/dining room has come together. I am almost ready for my housewarming party and to host many parties to come. I am so happy that I have a backyard and can fire up the grill this summer!! Everyone enjoys hanging out at my house and it's just been a nice welcome back.

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