Wednesday, August 11, 2010

What Else?

I've been thinking a lot lately about a lot of stuff. I've been thinking about people I've wronged and who have wronged me. Everyone reacts to hurt in their own way and there is nothing I can do to make things better if someone else refuses to stop being a victim. I have been dragged through the mud and kicked while down there, but if someone is truly sorry and shows me they have changed, I can find a way to get over myself and forgive. I don't like the way grudges feel in my skin. Life's too short to hold onto anger after someone has acknowledged their wrong doing and tried to change the behavior. Some people, on the other hand, never change and those are ones I must let go. It sucks.

I've also been thinking about the people in my life right now. My friends and family who have always found a way to forgive me when I fuck up and laugh with me when it's over with. I have no idea how lost I'd be without good people in my life right now. They are my compass and I know I will be fine as long as they continue to show me that I am ok just as I am. I need that until I am finally strong enough to believe it by myself.  When someone you love has spent a long time picking you apart because you're not making THEM happy, you start to believe you can do nothing right. People are so unfair to each other at times. but, at the same time, I have inflicted pain on people myself. We all do it to each other. It's not something to be proud of. I can at least understand it's the human condition. We all have a dark side.

Yours is no more excuseable than mine.

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